Ode to Daswagger
Updated: January 24, 2023 | By: Nick

Being 20 has taught me a lot of things when it comes to being mature. Now that I'm turning 21 soon, I feel like I'm being forced to accept the fact that things change, and I might just have to embrace them on my own. Especially with no one to talk to, I'm enamored by loneliness. Misery is a part of that which I can't even express the disgust how far people go to put themselves in dirt their whole lives thinking it's going to make them rich.

I don't care about money, I don't care about how much I earn, but what I care about is how I make a living and should make myself comfortable by then on., otherwise I'd go broke, not cash broke, like life broke. I'll be lifting heavy boxes and de-flake fish skins at a Philippine market and perhaps die 40. The significance why I couldn't write, I couldn't lift a finger, I couldn't scream on top of my lungs, is the reason why I'd never be strong.

What if I try? I could always try, but is it gonna be worth it? Does it really matter? Peoples interest differ and vary to those we meet, even some people tell me to believe in a Jesus when what it does to me is consume and distort the beliefs which I hold dear. Maybe the problem is my beliefs? But I'm a philosopher, yes perhaps that's the problem. There's nothing wrong with believing in anything we want, but some ideas are terrible.

It's awful that I'd never get out of my comfort zone, and how I can't even move my ass to do the next best thing.

While I'm envious for the fact that Prince Harry released a book, describing his penis and his mother, it got popular quicker than J.K Rowling would write. Though I am never royalty or at least, a part of it, I'm still a king in this throne and I deserve what society has denied me the rights to having met someone online, a romantic relationship, and the recognition I truly need for so long as an artist. Since I've drawn, written songs, made content, but with the measly amount of following that I have, I don't think there's an audience for this type of thing I've got.

So far, you're the only customer. And I'd like to say that, you can look around, watch my content, read this thing, but if my content has value to you, you can have it free of charge by subscribing or following it to some extent, even do a bit of a collab.

Though it might never persuade anyone to do so, it would be appreciated nonetheless.

My mind is empty, my ammo is close to blank. It’s truly embarrassing to write anymore. What a book author or an essayist have in common is that they have ideas but I don’t anymore. I cannot make this personal, as there’s so much stuff about me that I’ve got out, I have scraped the bottom of the barrel.

Bedroom - In My Head