Everyday is Radiation Day

Updated: December 12, 2024 by Nick

As I write this down to be my entry for this site going forward, I want to consider that no one deserves to have what I have, live what I live, I discourage anyone to be someone they don't. If they are copies of me, then they are pieces of shit that often fakes themselves to fame.

Right now, I'm getting the treatment I need for Nasopharyngeal cancer. And at the end of it all, I can see the finish line, but the cost is too steep, but so long as your country's president sent them Rad Labs a letter saying they'll pay for it instead, there is nothing bad about getting free handouts, especially in this dire situation.

I can almost remind myself how grateful and thankful I am to live in this country, instead of being in America where you have to pick up the pieces so you can live in the dream. And by that, I mean insurers, right?

Having this cancer, I never knew where to begin, it's went from a regular nosebleed, turned into mutated lymph nodes on my neck, into having me a biopsy, confinement of chemotherapy, and everyday radiation. Now, I won't ask for anything financially, but I appreciate those "get well soon" messages, showing support, and hoping that my work here is paying off.

I know this doesn't end here, and I damn know it won't, because at 22, and I get this? Why? I am faithful after all, I am strong but willing, and to this day, I'm standing my ground. Whether it would be against the wind, whether it'd be, against the tides, and whether it'd be against those who criticize, I am mighty, and by God's grace, I am thankful for all the strength I have mustered for so long to prepare me for this day to come.

Radiation won't smell well, and sure, it would hit my throat almost on the daily so no cancer survives, but putting this body to new heights in that machine, alone, with a head mesh tightly holding onto my face like a caught animal, is something I'll never forget, even from the back of my mind. It's no fetish, it just too tight.

And since everyday is radiation day for me, the only obstacle that prevents me from getting there to lie down, is the wait. Sometimes it goes on for hours if the machine did break, often times there's these prioritized that really needs it, so they have to get it first. But as for me, I have to wait. And I have to do this every, single day, on the daily, until the time is up.

You guys can ring the bell of yours, and I'll ring mine.